Its Thursday 15th March today...and well she left us on Thursday 15th Feb 2007.. and its exactly a month today.... Still her presence still lingers here with us... Sometimes i wake up in the morning feeling that she's still here with us, feeling as though It is All just a bad dream, and sometimes I just feel she's gone for a holiday somewhere....
But well.. i know she's actually HOME elsewhere...with the Lord...she's resting well and is in safe hands... She is doing fine and watching over us all, making sure we are still well taken care of...
I often think of her...might think that I've totally gotten over her..well.. I always tell my kiddos..No one can totally forget someone and that's a fact... I might look fine etc...but well i realised..whenever i am alone..whenever i am not busy occupied etc.. my mind starts to think..
Thinking about the things i miss about her.. thinking about her being around...I guess i'm still in the stage of grief and slowly letting go... at least it doesnt affect my life that much (i am still functioning=) But well.. today the missing bit was too much for me to handle..
I cried on the bus journey home..as i tot about her... the tears just kept coming and flowing..Thankfully there wasnt many peeps on the bus..if not they must have been wondering i just broke up with BF or something..to be tearing and crying like tat... hahaa...
Well.. i guess I will always remember MAMA.. no matter what... seeing someone that dresses like her (almost all the old peeps dress that way hahaha) will remind me of her...thinking of the things she say to me, thinking of her nagging at me, and the music she listens to, the food she cooks, the places we gone tog, the things we talk about... these will always bring back memories of her..so i guess she will always still be in my heart no matter what......
I miss u So So So Much... i really Do...
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